National Infertility Awareness Week

Warning: This is a grumpy post. 

Last year I missed it, but promised myself that I would do something to raise awareness next year. The thing about “raising awareness” is, it usually translates into “talking about it on social media”.

Now it’s next year. I’m fully aware that it’s happening right now, this week, but I don’t want to be involved. Not in real life, not with my real name , real acquaintances, real “friends”.

I always thought that when we got into the thick of things, I would be very open about everything. 

I’m not.

Friends are posting about their own experiences, or those of their friends or family members, and I respect that, but I have a strong aversion to doing so myself. Even the idea of changing my profile pic to a yellow ribbon leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. I thought I was out of the infertility closet, but I am realizing that in certain situations I’m firmly inside. There are too many people that I don’t want asking questions*, and I’m either related to or went to college with most of them (incidentally, that’s pretty much my whole Facebook “friend” list). 

I have no interest in educating or informing that universe, and I desperately want them to stop talking about it. Is that bad? I really want to be brave, and to be an advocate for those who need voices, but…. 

But I don’t want to relinquish control of our story. Not now. Not yet.

[note* there are also some really wonderful people that I do want asking questions. I haven’t figured out exactly how that works. But I’m not ready for people that I don’t trust to belittle us or offer unsolicited anecdotes about why they understand when I know they do not.]


3 thoughts on “National Infertility Awareness Week

  1. I totally get that. We’re the same way. I’ve very open on my anonymous blog, and with a few select friends/family members, but while I’m still in the thick of this thing, I don’t want to discuss my IF with the world. I’ve always said that I’d come out when I reached the other side (either with a baby or living child-free), and I still intend to. But for now, this is our story (my husband’s and mine) and I’d rather stay mum.


  2. When I participated in the Bloggers Unite challenge last year, I did so banking on not actually winning. Winning would mean a big gala with my real-life first and last name attached to my blog, which would mean the end of my blog. Every day this week I’ve told myself I would write something, but then I think, “What if they like it too much and I’m outed?!” Hmm, it’s comfy in the closet 😉


  3. Ha. I went back and forth over NIAW, thoroughly appreciating what some of my fellow bloggers were doing on social media, but not able to convince myself to participate. I like the idea of raising awareness in abstract, but then I think of the specific people on my Facebook list, and I just can’t come up with a message that seems appropriate to them. AND yes there are the few “nosy” people who I’m sure will take any post as an excuse to ask nosy questions about things they don’t need to know. CIAW (Canadian Infertility Awareness Week) rolls around in a month, so I guess I have until then to decide if I feel any differently. In the meantime, enjoyed your post. 😉


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